Hotlips (6 reviews)


Companies Choose a company This drink also tastes the way that fine leather smells. I had to look at the ingredients three times just to be sure. I'm sorry, but every sip I take reminds me of walking past Coach or Wilson's Leather when I worked at the outlet mall. Get yourself a quart of fresh red raspberries, put them in a cheese cloth one with a small rip in it and just smash the hell out of them.


So much sugar so early in the day was, and is, a mistake. That's where this tea comes in. After a day of sugar, I've got to calm down and drink some water and some unsweetened tea. This satisfied both of those as far as I'm concerned.

It's a nice black tea with a touch of Dove Creek mint. What does Dove Creek mint taste like? It's an indigenous thing. That's one thing that I like about Texas Tea is that they use all ingredients from in and around Texas.

It's just the right amount of mint that gives it a flavor but doesn't take away from the fact that it's an unsweetened tea. Do you like unsweetened tea? Do you hate when people mess with your tea like I do when I specifically order an unsweetened tea at a restaurant and they ask if I want any sugar with it?

You and I should go to dinner together. This is going to be a strange review, so please, bear with me. This drink is good. This drink also tastes the way that fine leather smells. I'm sorry, but every sip I take reminds me of walking past Coach or Wilson's Leather when I worked at the outlet mall. Between the mint and the honey and the green tea and whatever is in there which isn't much, I'm exaggerating it really tastes like a nice new belt. I know this isn't what you want to hear.

Let me try to get out of this funk for a second. It's really "mojito-esque" and the spearmint is very strong, but the bitterness is there. It's a very complex drink because you really can taste all the flavors at once and you have to roll the drink around to get it all.

All the flavors are "there" but together Would I drink it again? Probably not just because I'll never be able to get this thought of filtering an otherwise great drink through a pair of fine, Italian loafers, but I hope that it doesn't discourage you from picking some up for yourself. Ahhh, big city boy like you coming down to the South, eh? Well we've got a thing or two to teach you about how we do things 'round here.

For starters, we only wear overalls. For the women-folk, they wear sundresses. That's the way 'tis and that's the way it's gonna be, now and forever. Number two is that we make our pies with lard, the way that mama made 'em. None of that fancy, low calorie margarine like you city slickers have up there. If y'ain't got lard, butter. Ol' fashioned butter'll make everything go down smoother. Get used to it. Fourth is that we make our sweet tea with two things; tea and sugar.

That's it and that's all, now and f'ever. What's that you got there, boy? That better be a bottle that used to have paint or some sort of gas-o-line in it or I ain't tasting' it.

Alright, give her here, I'll take a swig. Swill is what it is. It's downright syrupy, if you ask me. City boy, number five is respect your elders so don't you forget it. Real Southern sweet tea is smooth and sweet. This is smooth and sweet and syrupy. Do you remember me saying that real Southern sweet tea is s'posed to be syrupy?

Boy, you've got some learnin' to do before you make it down here. It's not all swamps and gators and biscuits and gravy. What'd you say, darlin'? I've got to go, boy. M'wife made gator stew with biscuits and gravy. He goes on more little trips than anyone I know. Dude will just up and leave and I'll call him and he'll say "Oh, I'd love to get tacos but I'm in Nebraska" or "I'd love to get pizza but I'm in Albuquerque". One thing that Dan excels at is thinking of Thirsty Dudes and always bringing us stuff back.

Well on this occasion, he brought us stuff back from a store that is two miles away that carries this drink that I've never seen, Jay's never seen, and Derek's never seen. That's strange as we typically scour stores we've been to hundreds of times. You know, just in case. So he brought us back every flavor they had and I paid him in a burrito. He wanted me to wait for him to try this, but since he's not here, I'm thirsty, and this guy was cold, I had to go in without him.

He would and should be upset. It's got all the inherent bitterness you would expect from a white tea but a killer, natural strawberry flavor through and through. They have managed to make a delicious fruit soda that isn't sweetened with any sugar. I had to look at the ingredients three times just to be sure.

And you know what? I'm not one to eat a pear normally, but this is delicious. It's really juicy and flavorful. My only complaint and this goes for all Hotlips sodas is it's only lightly carbonated. I like my soda to be moderately fizzy, but you barely notice it here. I'm going to make some enemies with this statement, but I don't care: I don't like cranberries.

That was until I had this soda. It's nice that it's naturally sweetened no real or fake sugar , and yet still tastes sweet. The cranberry taste is strong yet not overpowering like straight cranberry juice. When I moved back to Buffalo for 10 months, the number one complaint I got from fellow reviewer Jason was that I didn't review more Hotlips soda while I lived in Portland.

You'd think I passed up a chance to see a one-off Fugazi reunion by the consistency that he would bring it up. If he were my father, he might have disowned me, or at least cut off my allowance for a couple weeks. For those who are not familiar with it, Hotlips is a Portland, Oregon based chain of pizza shops that also make their own soda.

They are available on tap and bottled at various grocery stores around the greater Portland area. The great thing about Hotlips soda is that it's made with real fruit, something I didn't appreciate the first time I had one. It only contains whole ingredients, no gross chemicals or filler. People's biggest complaint with Hotlips is their soda is VERY lightly carbonated, so little that sometimes it seems like it's not at all.

Now don't get me wrong, I love carbonated soda, I just think of this as it's own thing and try not to compare it to traditional soda as far as the carbonation goes.

Now to this flavor, black raspberry. It's one of my favorite fruits so I might be biased, but I think it's delicious. Like most flavors, there are little chunks of berry in it that make the drink. I was pretty shocked when I saw this, but also excited to try it. It's a local Portland soda made by the people who run the Hotlips Pizza chain.

It has a strong berry smell, but luckily the taste isn't as strong. I was afraid this was going to taste like carbonated juice, but it definitely was not the case.

The boysenberry is represented perfectly: The only major complaint I have is the price. I could see myself picking this up once in a while as a treat, but my wallet would never forgive me if it became a regular drink of mine.

I am excited to try the other flavors Hotlips sells, especially the blackberry and pear flavors.